If I hadn't been telling myself enough and more times, why I was so unfit to be in architecture, the lecturers sure made it clear on umpteen occasions. I naturally did not handle it well. I needed respite, I was not entirely brave to quit either. . I decided to dwell more upon the better things in college life like some wonderful people I had met, who till date remain my closest friends (touchwood), extra extra curricular activities (interpret as you will) and etc etc. So here are my tips for Surviving Architecture (or any other course that doesn't suit you)....the painfully long lectures that mean nothing to you, the constant boredom you experience at college where you seem like an unwanted guest...
1.Camouflaged Sleeping
This is a highly evolved form of sleeping art which requires years of practice so its essential you put your heart into the art from Day 1. In order to be able to perform this, you need to have a switch on and off capability for sleeping, be able to slant your head and place your head at 12.5 degrees such that from a few feet away it appears as if you are awake and listening while you are in fact sleeping. You must also possess Nagavallis subconscious ability of proximity assessment which lets you sense when a lecturer is approaching and wake up or move your head in the direction as and when required. While its not a pre-requisite or one that can be acquired, having small eyes help..Jai Swaroopaaa (connoisseur and founder of the art form)
2.Cinema Hall Deputation
Occasionally you can depute yourself to good cinema halls in the city provided you have sufficient money to take along a friend (never depute alone, its always good to have at least one person to accompany you to lay the blame on if you are ever caught on unauthorised deputations on a working day), there is promise of a good movie experience on a balcony ticket. Remember to keep a gap of at least two weeks before each deputation and have a believable excuse for your absence the next day.
3.Smoky Fridays
This is a no brainer, what's a college life without some fun. Since we belong to an extremely conventional society that expects the female gender not to smoke, here's a sure winner to get you those cigarettes without the shopkeeper frowning upon you. Here's a play-act (follow it to the T)
You (accompanied by couple of interested parties) : Chetta, Please can you help me? (your face must display extremely complicated emotions as if trying to say I like you and that's why I am going to have to kill you)
Shopchettan: Yes, how can I help you? (while he's thinking I am not sure what she's trying to pull with all that over the top expression as long as she doesn't ask me for money)
You: Chetta, these seniors have asked me to get them cigarettes, I am not even sure which one to buy, can you help me? (I am sure he bought it, I am that good)
Shopchettan: Sure, how many do you need? (Right, like I haven't heard that one before)
You: (always take a count in advance, formula for the same=no of partners in crime + 3 towards disaster management (read anyone who smells a rat and can be bribed into silence through a brief speech about freedom of will for women and other feminist crap)) Ten chetta
Shopkeeper: Ok here you go
and as you get the cigarettes and feel immensely proud about yourself, you see a senior year girl come along and ask for two packs of cigarettes, pull one out and start smoking it in front of you and the shopkeeper looks at you with a smirk meaning your play-act is much more injurious to one's sensibilities than the cigarette itself is to your health.
Back at the hostel, don't be shocked when if the most orthodox of girls joins you in your first tryst with smoking. Also be prepared for unexpected visits to your room from the moral police, so have those incense sticks burning to mask any lingering smells from the cigarettes, stash some mint chewing gum and get rid of that "I am up to no good" look. Expect at least one batchmate especially with a pre-inherited police sense to see through all that (even though the simplest of things just flies right above her head) and warn other girls against hanging out with you (in my case former Singham mentioned and the latter "so called innocent" who was warned are my BFFs today, so no harm no foul)
5. Night Visitor Stake Outs
Be part of a namesake stake out to catch the night visitor, yes the pervert who loves to pay the hostel a visit every now and then to either display his assets or a potential thief waiting to prey upon the unattended purse placed at an arms length from the window sill or the most popular kind, the final year MHite following the "must do once before you leave college" tradition. These stakeouts get max participation prior to a university exam because your studious room-mate wont switch that light off all night long and since you arent getting any sleep might as well do some social service or simply because you prefer it to staring at a book that might as well be in Greek. While some of us patrol the corridors after switching of the light, some like the aforementioned Singham, prefer to hold onto a camera and hide beneath the sheets waiting for the visitor to turn up to click his face, what an idea except the flash never works.
6.If you cant beat them join them
Now seniors are going to pop in and pop out of your daily college life. While it gets a tad bit irritating especially with the constant name calling and recycled questions that are supposed to embarrass you and make you uncomfortable and somehow is supposed to enrich your college experience, it can be a welcome respite especially if you want to take your mind off the not so successful academic life. So instead of resisting them try to play along and who knows you may end up finding a friend for life. Of course the flip side is you might get stuck in a vortex of trouble which is much worse than your internals. Rule of thumb is they are good to you when they want something, it can be an assignment, a few ten twenty bucks or just some harmless sadistic pleasure of seeing you squirm with discomfort thanks to the exemplary prowess they have with words. The latter most is the most difficult to handle, so learn to detach a la Osho style, shut out the world, and after a long ten minutes you are deemed a zombie and let go. Juniors enjoy utmost importance during elections, so make the most of it, for seniors will go out of their way to canvas a ticket for their party and they know you know nothing about them which is why they will be at their best behaviour. Sure, along the way you learn that all that sound you perceived as music was just noise, worthless noise, yet its a few good days that can temporarily numb the effects of that last bad remark you heard from your lecturer.
1.Camouflaged Sleeping
This is a highly evolved form of sleeping art which requires years of practice so its essential you put your heart into the art from Day 1. In order to be able to perform this, you need to have a switch on and off capability for sleeping, be able to slant your head and place your head at 12.5 degrees such that from a few feet away it appears as if you are awake and listening while you are in fact sleeping. You must also possess Nagavallis subconscious ability of proximity assessment which lets you sense when a lecturer is approaching and wake up or move your head in the direction as and when required. While its not a pre-requisite or one that can be acquired, having small eyes help..Jai Swaroopaaa (connoisseur and founder of the art form)
2.Cinema Hall Deputation
Occasionally you can depute yourself to good cinema halls in the city provided you have sufficient money to take along a friend (never depute alone, its always good to have at least one person to accompany you to lay the blame on if you are ever caught on unauthorised deputations on a working day), there is promise of a good movie experience on a balcony ticket. Remember to keep a gap of at least two weeks before each deputation and have a believable excuse for your absence the next day.
3.Smoky Fridays
This is a no brainer, what's a college life without some fun. Since we belong to an extremely conventional society that expects the female gender not to smoke, here's a sure winner to get you those cigarettes without the shopkeeper frowning upon you. Here's a play-act (follow it to the T)
You (accompanied by couple of interested parties) : Chetta, Please can you help me? (your face must display extremely complicated emotions as if trying to say I like you and that's why I am going to have to kill you)
Shopchettan: Yes, how can I help you? (while he's thinking I am not sure what she's trying to pull with all that over the top expression as long as she doesn't ask me for money)
You: Chetta, these seniors have asked me to get them cigarettes, I am not even sure which one to buy, can you help me? (I am sure he bought it, I am that good)
Shopchettan: Sure, how many do you need? (Right, like I haven't heard that one before)
You: (always take a count in advance, formula for the same=no of partners in crime + 3 towards disaster management (read anyone who smells a rat and can be bribed into silence through a brief speech about freedom of will for women and other feminist crap)) Ten chetta
Shopkeeper: Ok here you go
and as you get the cigarettes and feel immensely proud about yourself, you see a senior year girl come along and ask for two packs of cigarettes, pull one out and start smoking it in front of you and the shopkeeper looks at you with a smirk meaning your play-act is much more injurious to one's sensibilities than the cigarette itself is to your health.
Back at the hostel, don't be shocked when if the most orthodox of girls joins you in your first tryst with smoking. Also be prepared for unexpected visits to your room from the moral police, so have those incense sticks burning to mask any lingering smells from the cigarettes, stash some mint chewing gum and get rid of that "I am up to no good" look. Expect at least one batchmate especially with a pre-inherited police sense to see through all that (even though the simplest of things just flies right above her head) and warn other girls against hanging out with you (in my case former Singham mentioned and the latter "so called innocent" who was warned are my BFFs today, so no harm no foul)
5. Night Visitor Stake Outs
Be part of a namesake stake out to catch the night visitor, yes the pervert who loves to pay the hostel a visit every now and then to either display his assets or a potential thief waiting to prey upon the unattended purse placed at an arms length from the window sill or the most popular kind, the final year MHite following the "must do once before you leave college" tradition. These stakeouts get max participation prior to a university exam because your studious room-mate wont switch that light off all night long and since you arent getting any sleep might as well do some social service or simply because you prefer it to staring at a book that might as well be in Greek. While some of us patrol the corridors after switching of the light, some like the aforementioned Singham, prefer to hold onto a camera and hide beneath the sheets waiting for the visitor to turn up to click his face, what an idea except the flash never works.
6.If you cant beat them join them
Now seniors are going to pop in and pop out of your daily college life. While it gets a tad bit irritating especially with the constant name calling and recycled questions that are supposed to embarrass you and make you uncomfortable and somehow is supposed to enrich your college experience, it can be a welcome respite especially if you want to take your mind off the not so successful academic life. So instead of resisting them try to play along and who knows you may end up finding a friend for life. Of course the flip side is you might get stuck in a vortex of trouble which is much worse than your internals. Rule of thumb is they are good to you when they want something, it can be an assignment, a few ten twenty bucks or just some harmless sadistic pleasure of seeing you squirm with discomfort thanks to the exemplary prowess they have with words. The latter most is the most difficult to handle, so learn to detach a la Osho style, shut out the world, and after a long ten minutes you are deemed a zombie and let go. Juniors enjoy utmost importance during elections, so make the most of it, for seniors will go out of their way to canvas a ticket for their party and they know you know nothing about them which is why they will be at their best behaviour. Sure, along the way you learn that all that sound you perceived as music was just noise, worthless noise, yet its a few good days that can temporarily numb the effects of that last bad remark you heard from your lecturer.
7.Chill...its not the end its just the beginning
College doesnt have to be a nightmare, its just how you choose to face your demons, your worst fears that determines your journey there and ahead. If its a smooth ride, then I am afraid you are more unprepared for life than the rest of us. The good thing about sometimes being at the bottom rung is the knowledge that you can only go upwards from there. Cheers and thanks to my wonderful friends, who made my journey a bit easier by just being there, to Lords restaurant for soul food in the name of vegetable cutlets, to Sabari chettan for those ten cigarettes and my source of poison for those tough days, chill, its just Pepsi, for the deck of cards and trump, enriched my nights and will power (you gots to get rid of the kunukku), all the wonderful theatres of Trivandrum, college days, LH Union days (learnt to dance as if no one was watching, even though many were and not give a damn inspite of the wonderful negative remarks) and lastly architecture, I wasnt a good student when I started, wasnt in the front row of achievers ever, but I still was an improved one when I left.
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