Desi...i...i....gh...n .. not a good sign

Not many freshers know what really happens in a Design Class in the first year, probably a hardcore enthusiast might but most don't. Unlike popular misconceptions you really don't start to draw a plan in your first week in college. We just go prepared with the ammunition, yes the T-scale, the numerous pencils and other paraphernalia from the long list given to us on Day1. And whats the first thing you learn, to sharpen your pencil, yes you heard me right, sharpen your pencil but not with a sharpener but with a knife (not the kitchen knife, sorry we are not butchers here, not yet anyway, only just ten years from now when we get to butcher our clients). Ok so as I said, our sir, gathers us around and shows us how to sharpen a pencil using the knife. He's obviously an expert and it almost plays out like the scene from Rambo, where he sharpens a piece of wood into a knife. In seconds we have the perfectly sharpened pencil. The process of course is not an easy one to master.You are told to stroke the pencil with the knife outward and down and rotate the pencil with each stroke.While some got it right in the first go, couple of us had to go back to the store in the evening to replenish our stock of pencils. Next, was the butter paper, yes the free sheets of drafting paper that our department would be shelling out to us for free for the next five years.That was a simple process where we would stick it onto our drafting boards properly aligning it using the T scale. Then came the cello tape. Now I must proudly say that in the entire world only one kind of people can cut off a piece of cello tape without the need of a scissors or knife but solely using their teeth, ok lets hear the fanfare, THE ARKEES. If ever there were an identification parade or proof of arkee test, all you need to do is give the chap a cello tape and ask him to cut out a 1cm piece using merely the teeth. 

So pencils ready, butter paper ready, erasers ready, T square ready. Time of Action:..before that a small detour.. We had two professors guiding us in design the first year, a lady professor and a male professor, and they did not exactly get along like a house on fire. There was always the play for power due to which whenever one opened his mouth to say a sentence the rest of it would be completed by the other, not much to the liking of the former. They would also stand on two sides of the classroom and we would be shifting our heads left and right to follow instructions, as if there wasn't enough confusion already. So back to Time for Action, the professor begins to say, " Now, you will," and as if saying it a bit louder and in a slightly more annoying tone would make her seem superior, the lady professor begins her sentence right after a nano second,"You will now draw" only to be interrupted by the professor who started the sentence in the first place, "draw vertical lines." while the lady professor completes her sentence with "horizontal lines" and you would think they would at least look at each other and arrive at a consensus. So were we to draw horizontal or vertical lines. Nope, the sir gives an irritated expression while the lady professor pretends as if he doesn't even exist. So as we get the T scales ready, both echo in unison,"No T scales, free hand". 

Meanwhile, we all reached a consensus we would draw horizontal lines and then vertical lines. So the first line is obviously bad, rookies, it will take time. The next is worse and the one next, that's not even a line. Well after sheets and sheets of trials we master it a bit. So now we need to do the vertical lines, and if you thought horizontal lines are difficult, the vertical ones are whole new level of pain, in fact one of us got so frustrated at repeated attempts to complete at least a single vertical line (partly because the person in context  is a bit short and was having a tough time reaching up to the top section of the paper from where she would have to start her line) so she just simply went and stood on the right side of her drafting board and started drawing horizontal lines, its actually smart coz from actual view they are in fact vertical lines. Many ways to arrive at the goal but the professor caught her just in time and told her why her method actually defeated the purpose, to learn to draw vertical lines freehand. He was also kind enough to adjust the drafting board to ease the task for her. In the next few days we would repeat these tasks, we would get assessed for the same, for now design seemed easy. It was all going to change in a few weeks.

I don't when it all happened but there I was standing in the design class a pencil in hand not a clue on how to complete the task. Yes, it was our first series of internal assessments and we were asked to draw the plan and section of the classroom door. A few days back we had been just doing the elevation of a table, its plan and the section, but suddenly we had a door as an assignment and that too for series. Oh HORROR. I watched as my fellow classmates measured the door, looked up at it, I tried to join in and looked up too, they seemed to see something which I didn't, because they were busy sketching out something roughly. They were soon back at their desks drafting the plan. I thought probably staring a bit harder would give me some insight, like a sudden revelation... its there Priya,,, you just need to know what you are looking for (oriental music in the background)...Oh gear up fool, I told myself, theres no time for inner chi now. Reluctantly, I go up to a fellow classmate (who btw is a very very successful architect today) and ask for guidance. Well, there isn't much time, so I actually have to look at his sheet and copy everything, the plan, section, dimensions and replicate on my sheet. Amidst running between my table and his, I realise I still did not know what I was drawing but was doing it so that I don't fail my first internals.While I was embarrassed on one hand to the core, for I had never had to ask for help or copy answers from another my entire life till then, and also because I knew for years to come I would be judged by the classmate as a "LOSER" (even today for that matter), I was and am still thankful that I passed the exam. Having said that, I still ran out of luck on 90 percent of the occasions, even after I had burnt the midnight oil for all my theory papers for my internals and would still end up with dismal marks because my sketches weren't good enough, one of my professors even put a comment on my theory paper ,"well written but poor sketches" giving me just 21 out of a possible 40" 

But in a way it was good, no one had expectations from me, I was not under pressure to excel, I was never in the run for winning top marks, and so after years of the pressure of having to be among the toppers in school, I felt free. I actually enjoyed my ignorance, I enjoyed not being in the cross hairs. That's the thing about Arkee, unlike school, where the low rankers are always kept under the teachers nose, as an arkee you are non-existent if ur not good at what you do (until the thesis ie). Sure internals suck, but you still can make up for it in your university exams. So my policy was, " why try so hard and still suck (oh there was no way i was going to be a success at this) when you can just not try, enjoy and suck at the same time !!!!

FYI: I still completed my assignments but did not think much about it after that. Its not easy detaching your self from expectations but thats the thing about college, its an eye opener. You realise your strengths, weaknesses and in my case taught me to CHILL OUT. People will always be judgemental of you and your capabilities, but as a senior once told me, "Its not that I can and dont want to, but its more like I want to but I cant" So, why not replace that "cant" with a can of beer, no just kiddn, I replaced it with a pepsi can (caffeine is always a good mood elevator).